The Art of Success

As of late I have been quite mesmerized by the idea of Success, what that is, what it looks like, feels like, tastes like and how it appears in our eyes, hearts and minds.

So let’s break that down :)

A dear friend of mine, who has conquered a debilitating disability is the man who bags the groceries, gets the carts, always smiles and helps everyone in sight. His success comes in everyday experiences of conquering an illness that betrays his own soul, and does it with grace and ease. Most with this type of disorder don’t see a daily regime that allows them to participate in mass culture.

Another friend, warm colleague, just hit her 50K month goal in sales this month.

And then onto teaching. I’ve been teaching actors and women who run small businesses on how to use linkedin for sales. And I get asked repeatedly, yes that sounds easy, ‘But you are so confident. How do you do it?”

I’ve heard this question enough in the last month, that I thought it would be good to break that down. Into a series on the Art of Success.

Success is so personal. No one can name it for another.

Success is so fleeting. You can be the hot tamale today, and the rotten tomato tomorrow.

Success can be giddy. Like hot air you want to keep breathing, but that will eventually kill you in the end.

Success under duress is simply getting out of bed in the morning and being a decent person.

A mentor of mine when I was young said she prayed simply, “to do no harm to anyone else or herself.”

“Life is short and art is long, and success is few and far between.” Said one of my other mentors.

Perhaps that is the truth of the matter. That in a flurry to challenge one’s own identity on the matter of what I can achieve, success is such a personal journey that it becomes irrelevant on the outside world. And it’s only real relevance is that internal journey and discovery that unfolded.

My brother, a famous prostrate cancer researcher and I laughed one night while talking. I was sitting in my very nice uptown Manhattan apartment, and he was outside in the back of his lake house, and I said, “you know, sometimes I still think, well the fridge is full. So everything must be ok, right?”

I think growing up poor, as many will attest does bring some down to earth common gritty sense.

Another student said after a training I did about how to get more sales, “yes, but this is a lot of work.” And I paused, breathed and smiles and said, “Yes. Quite true.” And then hung up the phone.

Most mesmerizing to me, is that the art of grit is often left out of the conversation on success. And that’s what captivates me. The most dire thing I see, is that along with the 10,000 hours also comes a moment where a state of mind must be enacted to simply do what one knows is the deepest desire within them.

Maybe it is a Darwin theory of Success. That in order to stay alive, in some state of Aliveness, there has to be a lift off into this catechism we call “success.” Which most interestingly, may only be apparent to ourselves.

No one else knows my friend might have jumped the bridge that day, unless he had a concrete grocery bagging job to go to.

No one knows that my colleague who hit 50K might not ever had the courage to roll out of bed unless she hit that mark.

I feel that success is a matter of survival. Because without it there is the under-road of self-loathing that comes in the smallest darkest corners when you do not do the what you must do in order to walk the planet in dignity.

I imagine that true success is self-dignity, that you feel when you go to bed at night. And the lights are out. And there is a small breath, I did it.

No one else knows or sees that sigh of moment. Or appreciates the exhale. But that is the art. A nameless beast that must be tamed.